


something yellow

by heathermcnamara



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, also like. definitely a tw for suicide & suicide mentions & self harm in later chapters, first chapter is super not shippy??, not yet but just warning you now!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:36:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4986832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heathermcnamara/pseuds/heathermcnamara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>heather mcnamara didn't expect to see veronica again so soon, not after everything that had happened. not after everything that had happened after everything had already happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	something yellow

“i’m surprised you didn’t order lemon or mango. or you know,  _something_  yellow.”

heather practically leapt out of her seat, turning to face a grinning veronica.  
“ronnie? oh my god! what are you doing here?”   
she barely gave her time to answer before pulling her into a hug, burying her face in her blazer, amazed she was even here.  
veronica laughed, returning the hug, god, she’d missed her so much, but now standing here with her, it was almost as if she’d  
never gone away in the first place. neither of them moved at first, just comfortable standing there, not having to talk.

but of course, the questions had to come. the awkward ones too. veronica took the seat across from her, wondering if she should  
say something first, or wait until heather was ready to talk, ready to tell her what she’d missed. the smaller girl opened her mouth,  
about to say something but thought better of it and closed it again before changing her mind and asking quietly “um, do you want  
to get some- some ice cream, maybe?”  
veronica nodded, not trusting herself to speak- she’d messed up enough already (she knew she was the  _reason_ heather had left in  
the first place) and followed heather, who’d already started to stand, inside.

“if we’re going to stick to colours and stuff, maybe you should get bubblegum?” heather tried to joke, but the words seemed to get  
stuck in her throat. why was she even trying? it wasn’t like veronica cared- she’d wanted her to leave, wanted her to go in the first  
place. why had she even bothered coming here? for all she knew- heather could have moved on, could have gotten over it (although  
she hadn’t, she knew she hadn’t, this wasn’t something she’d ever forget). 

veronica shook her head, only half listening to what heather was saying, pretending to be focused on the chalkboard menu on the wall,  
listing all the ice cream flavours available that day. really, she was thinking about what she was supposed to say to her. what she was  
supposed to say after everything that happened that christmas. god, she’d only tried to make things better, how was she supposed to  
know she was lying the whole time? and then heather’s dad’s engagement ring business had opened a new branch and he’d decided with  
everything that had happened (well- everything he  _knew_ about) it was better for heather to finish her senior year somewhere else. at  
first heather had refused, insisting she was fine, she didn’t want to leave veronica and martha. but then christmas had happened and  
there was no question of moving.

she’d missed her- missed her more than she thought she would. at first heather wouldn’t answer the phone, wouldn’t talk to veronica at  
all. after a month or so of calling, her dad picked up and told her he was sorry but she wanted a clean start, to forget everything that had  
happened. he’d sounded so  _confused_ , of course, he’d assumed this was about  **heather**  and  **kurt**  and  **ram**  (although, it was, partially) but  
there was so much more. he didn’t know and he didn’t need to. she’d worried for a while, longer than she’d admit to, that heather might  
have told him. but then again, heather mcnamara had always been surprisingly _good_  at keeping secrets.

a nudge of heather’s elbow to her side, made her turn towards her to meet her worried gaze. “veronica? are you okay? i mean- do you want  
to go somewhere else?” veronica didn’t quite know what to say. say yes and risk scaring her off again or say no and stick with awkward  
small talk for an hour or two before she vanished forever or something, giving away her only chance to talk to her in months. quick, she  
had to think now, god veronica, just say something!   
“it’s a little cold for ice cream, don’t you think?” there. that was pushing the question back to heather, she was giving her the choice this time,  
letting her know it was okay whatever she wanted to do.

and to her surprise, heather laughed, a small laugh, a quiet one, but still a laugh, all the same. “i guess, i mean, yeah, february’s cold. no  
wait- it’s march now, right? march second? right?” she froze, terrified her mistake would worry veronica again, let her know something wasn’t  
quite right. but maybe she’d gotten away with it, she’d always been known as the ditzy heather (not that the heathers were even a thing anymore.  
only one left now, right? one left at westerburg. sometimes she wondered how heather duke was doing, whether she’d found a new group, new  
friends. she hoped she had, being on your own was- it wasn’t good). 

luckily, veronica hadn’t seemed to notice her mistake, or if she had, she’d brushed it off, she herself had done it many times when tired or stressed.  
and heather was at least one right now, if not  **both**. she knew it was stupid, but sometimes if she was awake late at night (and she often  _was_ ) she’d  
wonder if heather was too, wonder whether she was sleeping well, whether she’d remembered to take her sleeping pills. needless to say, _that  
_ particular train of thought never ended well.

this time her thoughts were interrupted by heather herself. “you know, we could always go to mine or whatever. i mean, we can talk and stuff- i  
mean, we don’t have to! and i...” she took a deep breath, unable to look her in the eye. “i’m sorry. for everything. i didn’t mean to-”

veronica put her hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look her in the face.   
“heather- you don’t have to be sorry for everything you do. you know that, right? this whole leaving thing? it was the best thing you could do- after... after  
everything.” 

had she said something wrong? oh god, she’d really fucked up this time, heather’s eyes were full of tears, she looked ready to start crying right now,  
in the middle of the cafe. 

“so you- you don’t hate me?” heather’s voice was quiet, a barely there whisper.  
“no. heather- i thought you were going to  _die_! i wasn’t mad! i was **scared**! we were  _all_ scared!” veronica tried to keep her voice quiet, not wanting  
to attract attention, but half wanting to yell at heather (was that really why this had all happened? a  _misunderstanding_?)

“oh.” was all she managed to say, before flinging her arms around her best friend again, trying to say all the things she didn’t quite know how to  
(and probably failing, it was only a hug after all).


End file.
